Canada Day July 2, 2008

Happy Canada Day!

 

I am a Canadian and most times, I am proud of that.  I love our country.  I love the place I live in our country.  I love the freedoms we have.  I love our universal health care (of course, there are parts of it which could use improving…but in general, we are so fortunate to have access to the best in the world).  I am so proud that our country offers a full year parental leave.  I am proud that we are ‘peace keepers’.  I am proud that we are forward thinking in terms of gay marriage.  I am proud that we have a great sense of humour in general.  I am so proud of so many things.  If I were to travel, I would proudly show off my maple leaf.  I am a hockey watching, skate owning, touqe wearing Canadian. 

All that being said…we had a pretty laid back day.  We spent the majority of the day at my dad’s house.  We were helping get his air conditioning installed and a floor built for his new gazebo in the back yard.  The kids were into everything…..and even managed to escape the back yard!  There was much sun had…much sprinkler running…much laughing.  This evening, friends of ours came over for supper and a little Wii.  We bowled, we tennis’d.  It was good all around.  Now, I am making a huge pot of soup…apparently having the temperature in the low 30’s today wasn’t enough heat for me to avoid wanting a pot of hamburger soup.  I hope we have a fire again tonight.  I don’t think we will make it to any fire works..the girls have been in bed for a couple of hours already and the sun isn’t even fully down. 

Next year, we will hopefully make it to a parade and fireworks.  This year I am happy to lounge in the hamock in front of the fire pit, eating marshmellows S so perfectly toasts for me!

Happy Day!

Memorial Day For A Canadian May 27, 2008

This past weekend was Memorial Day in the US.  Being a Canadian, I don’t know anything about this holiday.  Which is shocking really, because I grew up in a border town and spent more weekend in Birch Bay than I did at home.  I was reading a post from the blog I Should Be Folding Laundry  and the writer did a good job sharing her emotions tied to this holiday.  Although Canadians are involved in this war, I haven’t felt any real conection to it at all.  I don’t think about it on a regualr basis.  Maybe I should watch the news a little more.  I don’t know anyone who is in the Middle East right now.  I have no enlisted family members.  Basically, this war and the miltary do not touch my life in a tangible way.  It is wrong of me though, to think I am not affected.  I do not agree with the past seven years of war and mayhem.  I don’t think Canadians should be invovled.  That doens’t mean that I don’t admire and respect those who are there, dedicated and fighting. 

My grandfather survived a war.  My father was in the air force and is a Legion member today.  I make sure I buy my poppy each year.  I haven’t been to a ceramony since highschool though.  I guess I should maybe make more of an effort to educating myself about what is happening in the world today and what that really means for me and my family.

Sick Daddy May 25, 2008

My dad is sick.  He has a non cancerous tumour in his brain, sitting on his pituitary gland.  This isn’t anything new.  We found out about this tumour coming three years ago.  He was sucessfully taking medication, which was shrinking this tumour and making his daily life enjoyable again.  Lately though, things have taken a turn for the worse.  The pressure is back in his head.  His body hair isn’t growing so much any more.  When he bends over his nose leaks fluid from the tumour. 

When my dad was over last night he shared with me this latest update.  I of course panicked.  I don’t know how to process the thoughts of loosing my dad.  I lost my mom when I was a teenager and I barely survived that.  I honestly think that loosing my dad would send me over the edge. 

The scarest thought to me is being orphaned.  I honestly don’t know how to be a parent if I don’t have my own parent.  I can’t imagine my world without my dad in it.  Who will make me feel better when the world feels like it is closing in on me.  Who will make me feel safe…and yeah….I know I am married and a parent myself…but still, who?

About putting my foot in my mouth….here is how I did it….

After my dad left I was rattled.  I needed to talk to someone who had more answers for all my questions.  I phoned my dads wife – a nurse.  I started asking her about the symptoms my dad shared.  I needed reasurance.  My dads wife had no idea what I was talking about.  My dad hadn’t told her.  She hates it when I know more than her, or know stuff before her.  I really did it this time.  She was mad and I felt horrible for saying anything at all.  How was I supposed to know that he hadn’t told her yet.  They live together….she is his wife.  How could I have known?