Fighting Hangover June 25, 2008

Some days it feels like I have taken two giant steps back.  I am talking about my marriage, my family…all the things that are imporatant to me.  I hate the day after a fight.  I am tired.  I feel emotionally drained.  I don’t feel well at all.  The day of a fight is much worse though.  Today is the fight hangover, so to speak.

I am on egg shells, not wanting to start fighting again.  I don’t fully feel resolved.  I am short tempered with the kids.  I feel like I could cry, scream or break something at any given second.  It is shit.

Alas, this too shall pass.  I know that as the day goes on, I will feel better.  I know that tomorrow I won’t feel like this at all.  Next week, I won’t even remember what this was all about.

How Come Sorry Is So Hard? June 24, 2008

How come saying ’sorry’ is so hard?  I wish for my daughters, the ability to know when they need to aplogise and to be able to do it with grace and sincerity.  My husband struggles with this.  He isn’t very good at saying sorry.  Maybe it is because he was never taught.  I have started to look on line and have found this site called Marriage Fitness.  There seems to be a good topic on how to say sorry to someone you love.  I think that I am going to work on this with S. 

Todays fight was over nothing really – S misplaced my keys…the second time this week.  I wasn’t able to make it to my dr.’s appointment today…second time I have had to cancel for reasons out of my control.  The keys aren’t the issue.  How the phone call went down, how I was made to feel uncared for, is the issue.  I kow it is just a little thing.  I just don’t want all those little things to build up into something so big we won’t know how to fix it. 

Funny thing is…I felt so bad after our phone fight, all I wanted to do was leave….and I couldn’t….I don’t have any keys to go anywhere….lucky man…or maybe not.

I hope S learns how to say sorry so that I can believe it.  I hope our children don’t learn from their father.