PMS can be a real bitch. I can feel it coming on from a distance. I feel the urge to crack my knuckles pretty much non stop. It is like I am preparing to rip someones face off….and really, I am. Too bad it is often my husband and it happens over the phone.
There are days when he must hate the sound of his phone rining. On the days that it is really bad, I can call him up to 10 times. He leaves our house before 7 am and I will call him before 8 to bitch him out for something or other…..nothing important in the light of post pms. Of course, in the moment, I truly believe he is out to drive me crazy, have me committed and run off with another women who isn’t so crazy! Yes, I really do think that deep into things.
Some days it feels like he breathes too loud. He has this nasty habit of sort of snorting while he breathes. I keep asking him if he needs a kleenex. He hasn’t caught on that it drives me out of my mind listening to him. It just feels like everything about him is meant to put me over the edge.
I know this is all in my head. I really love my husband and I feel so lucky to be his wife…and other day that a PMS one. Thankgoodness it only really comes once a month. I can make it up to him for the next three weeks. I lull him into a false sense of security just so he doesn’t run away and really leave me. I know how bad I am too. Sometimes I can listen to the words coming out of myself and I want to stop them, but I can’t. It is like I am watching me from beyond the glass and nothing I can do or say can stop the train wreck.
Of course, I am sure my husband would love me to not suffer PMS. Before we were marrried and had children I spent many years on the Depo shot. Not only did this eliminate my periods completely for a few years, but it also took away all symptoms of PMS. Maybe that was a bad thing for my marriage. Maybe it gave my husband a false sense of who I was. What he married, wasn’t what he dated, for sure. Now, two kids later and six years and here we are. Me a raging bitch for two or three days a month and then working my ass off to make it all up to him.
Really, there is only another decade or so to go on this roller coaster. I hope we make it. I sure hope he survives. Then it is all down hill into menopause…lucky us!
